Secure attachment coaching
Are you ready to take a step that can change your life?
Healing insecure attachment is not an undertaking for those who feel ambivalent about it. It requires sustained effort, a willingness to look inward, and perhaps most importantly, an understanding that attachment healing is fundamentally relational.
I wish I could write a book or create a course that you could take for nine weeks and emerge “good as new.” In reality, while awareness is incredibly important—and often transformative—it is not sufficient on its own. What helps even more is learning to see yourself in the moment, in relationship to another person, as your patterns unfold in real time.
And perhaps most importantly, receiving—even from just one person—the experience of secure relating is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It is a gift that keeps on giving: opening the possibility for higher self-worth, for clearer boundaries, for expressing needs directly, for being attached without becoming obsessive, and for choosing others based on connection and safety rather than compulsive trauma responses.
So how do we do that?
Awareness
The awareness stage is often an ongoing process that becomes more nuanced and sophisticated the more you engage with it.
At first, you may become aware of your behaviors. Then, you begin to notice how these behaviors serve unconscious needs. In later stages, you learn to distinguish healthy needs from traumatic wounds and to offer yourself healthier ways of meeting those needs.
Creating the possibility for change
The possibility of change begins with transforming your internal sense of safety. While cognitive understanding can slow reactions, when you feel unsafe—when someone gets too close or pulls away—insight often disappears, and your fight-or-flight system takes over, leading to compulsive behaviors.
Real change begins when we examine what makes you feel unsafe, what maintains that sense of unsafety, and how we can build your capacity and resilience in those moments—all while ensuring that you are, in fact, safe most of the time.
Engaging with yourself and others in more secure ways
This is where you begin to test what you’ve learned in the service of changing how your brain responds. Neuroplasticity allows for structural change through repetition and emotional experience. The most meaningful shifts occur when you choose to act more securely—even when emotions run high, even when it’s difficult, even when you do it imperfectly, and yes, even when you fail.
Acting more securely involves learning to catch yourself in the moment—not in a harsh or hypercritical way, but with curiosity and compassion. It means quieting the inner critic, checking in with whether your needs are actually being met, and asking yourself what a secure response might look like in that situation.
Taking the next steps
If you feel ready to commit to improving your relationship with yourself and others, you’re welcome to complete this form. I typically respond within 24–48 hours and will let you know whether we’re a good fit. Because of the relational nature of this work, I work one-on-one with a small number of people.
You can learn more about me, the approaches I use, and my rates here.